MATTER

Matter = Latin materia “substance from which something is made”, wood; mater, Indo-European for origin, source, mother. 

i think of being snatched 
my mother’s womb cut 
forced opening and too much light 

i remember the last moments of complete silence
the thud of a heart with unwavering regularity 
the soothing darkness 

warmth
brewing like seed
sprouting the way
in me germinating
a revolution 

my arrival was methodically booked 
like a military operation, calculated 
no space left for the natural unfolding 
no space left for my full expansion  

i doubted the earth’s readiness to receive me 
or perhaps doubted my own capacity to grasp a bright new world 

i almost remember 
the blinding opening 
being pulled out by strange hands, meat
measured 

searching for mother 
searching for skin 
or father, still 

this explains the 
incessant craving for dark Matter,
instant repulsion for brightness 

the coming out before ripening 
forcing soul’s way into life 
forgetting the earth’s intelligence 
i’m still to find the gift in this abrupt beginning 

despite all,
the world ushered me in well
with remembrance comes grief, and within grief there is 
always 
healing