inner child

Finding

It all began with a parsnip that was in fact an artichoke from Jerusalem – the birthplace also of jesus and god’s other son doubting its edibility. It began with a priest’s daughter, her heightened love of porridge and poetry. It began with slow progress and a dram of hope and too much rain. TwoContinue reading “Finding”

earthed

I arrived, 26 years ago, folded and compressed, a gasp on my mother’s lips, curiosity on her cheeks, a tiny miracle held on my father’s chest. My birth was planned and calculated, sterile. Brought by morning’s light. I wanted to leave, early on, when hearing the loud turning of this world, the air heavy withContinue reading “earthed”

There is nothing of you in me

Where do you store this rage? This ancient anger that you stifled within. They were unable to hold her magnificence. Where do you store it? Deposited like small crystals of salt, or dark coal simmering. It is your body that holds it all: your grief and your exaltations – it is your body that isContinue reading “There is nothing of you in me”

Un ravel

A cloth unweaving – threads unravelling until it becomes something almost unrecognisable. I am unravelling too, dropping with intention parts and pieces of myself that I thought made me. Some days I feel that I am losing every concept of who I was, my body changes daily, the intricacies of my life metamorphose. Some days,Continue reading “Un ravel”

thoughts of summer and fatherlessness

Leave it up to the Moon, to give or take. To gift or strip away as She pleases. She knows better the story held inside your bones. Leave it up to the Moon, the building and the breaking down – the monthly shedding as parts of you fall and new ones grow. She knows betterContinue reading “thoughts of summer and fatherlessness”

For those that love too much – Part III*

*This is the third part of a story I began writing over a year ago to track my healing after a toxic relationship. Each part is what I felt at the time, what I thought and my progress in recovering from self-destructive patterns. Click here to read Part I and Part II. You are carryingContinue reading “For those that love too much – Part III*”

Romanian Diaries: home within

Part II Today, I arrive at my grandparents’ meagre home in a small village. I see my ninety year old grandfather after a decade. My eyes crack open with tears of joy as his palms feel my face, my cheeks, perhaps he is checking whether I am real. Am I really here? He is oldContinue reading “Romanian Diaries: home within”

Romanian Diaries: Homecoming

Part I Arriving I honour the women from my land, women that fought their way through the wars of their men. Who fought silently, with no guns to carry and bullets to load, but with bread baking and blisters on their knees from so much praying. This, I do for them. I return after soContinue reading “Romanian Diaries: Homecoming”

I do this for you

I do this for you, little girl concealed under a folding of the heart. Shrinking is no longer an option. I reach down, squeeze my hand through the roots my past, under the ground, I reach down to find you. Pull you upwards by your neck. I look at you whisper I love you This Continue reading “I do this for you”

Split

Call to the girl within It’s been a while as the path is branched with diversions. Nevertheless, I always return within – to you. Sometimes weary, tired; on other days I come hurried and distracted; today, I’m here to ask for the way forward. You’ve always known although you embrace silence, wanting to let meContinue reading “Split”