letting go

I take my grief to the river

In the light of love, there’s grief I take my grief and sit with itAnd in the light of grief, there’s grace I soften in all that is outside myself: storms of loss, patterns of sadness, a world sick and begging for help And in the light of us, there’s day trips that never happenedpoemsContinue reading “I take my grief to the river”

Finding

It all began with a parsnip that was in fact an artichoke from Jerusalem – the birthplace also of jesus and god’s other son doubting its edibility. It began with a priest’s daughter, her heightened love of porridge and poetry. It began with slow progress and a dram of hope and too much rain. TwoContinue reading “Finding”

re birthing

when i crave for you most i find myself at sea this time i’m going in knee deep naked exposed to skin skin moistening into the sea bed like moss i am now a sea shell empty dry sand particles lodged between my toes i sink i go down with purpose salt seeps through theContinue reading “re birthing”

Last to let go

I let my body paint the story. My hands trace our beginning within space, my hips circle into spirals dancing our story that never ends. Our story that never ends but takes different shapes each year. This year shaped into absence, the space that remained, missing; From too much to a lack of feeling. FromContinue reading “Last to let go”

Bardo

Show me the broken parts. The ugly. The cracks of your being. Show me where is the mould, the dampness. Show me where you are rusty, untouched. Show me the faults you hide well from view, the ones you’ve been hiding for such a long time. Show me the shame you carry on your palms,Continue reading “Bardo”

Pavel

You’ve named me, months before my birth. I was first a thought, before your thought metamorphosed into a seed, sprouting. You named me Pavel, a boy’s name that you practiced calling, a name your lips would form with pride and anticipation. Pavel. I came to you as a disappointment at first. You prayed so longContinue reading “Pavel”

I told you no

you make your way in like a ruthless predator opening up, pulling apart push and pull. I remember the waves, the sea with its flow infiltrate then withdraw. I pray for it, wish I was drowning. but the heaviness of your body I can’t ignore. Stiffness. You draw me in like an animal. Breathing inContinue reading “I told you no”

Cacao blessings

I have been blessed to start my favourite month of October attending a Cacao Ceremony in a secluded beautiful house in nature. I was seventeen years old when I attended my first Cacao Ceremony, an experience which initiated my search for meaning and for a deeper connection to myself, god, nature and spirituality. It’s beenContinue reading “Cacao blessings”

Crescent

Tonight, a beginning clings to the edge of this crescent moon – hanging with grace like a precious jewel. Beginnings never arrive solitary – endings pave the way for a fresh arrival. I take myself back, for a brief moment, through the roads that carried grief within their curvatures, through the places that hold the memoryContinue reading “Crescent”

For those that love too much

My story with narcissistic abuse Do you love yourself more than you love me? Beloved replied, I have died to myself and I live for you. I’ve disappeared from myself and my attributes, I am present only for you. I’ve forgotten all my learnings, but from knowing you I’ve become a scholar. I’ve lost allContinue reading “For those that love too much”