longing

i change shape daily

the forest changes daily. winter – Her bare bones barely holding. And now, summer, the paths have narrowed in bloom with aliveness. Every morning, the Body of Earth changes a little: not even a second of stagnancy or doubt shadows Her surface. And just like that, our Body too mimics the movement of the EarthContinue reading “i change shape daily”

loosen into presence

Learn to grasp the transient nature of things. You can never completely recreate the past, no matter how hard you try to push soul back into things that have already died. Let them die. Anchor yourself into what is being birthed for you now. Each joy in its intensity, each moment is here just forContinue reading “loosen into presence”

Romanian Diaries: home within

Part II Today, I arrive at my grandparents’ meagre home in a small village. I see my ninety year old grandfather after a decade. My eyes crack open with tears of joy as his palms feel my face, my cheeks, perhaps he is checking whether I am real. Am I really here? He is oldContinue reading “Romanian Diaries: home within”

Two

Choosing the world as much as choosing it not. Always grappled with the in-between. Not quite there, in one fully or the other. Migrating like a bird, or swinging like a mad pendulum from one to the other. A neurosis of some sort, yearning for intensity in both. I want to feel it deeply, madly.Continue reading “Two”

Him

Morning. Hot tears singe. How many times have I been told to stop crying? It’s not good for the soul, they’d hiss. Fools. Now I want to drown them in these tears. Blazing lava, abundant. Nevermind. I’m lost in your love yet I find neither you nor me. I wonder – the shape of yourContinue reading “Him”

my home hurts

Start packing, we’re leaving next week. I was fourteen when I watched my home shrink and disappear from the round window of a cramped plane. Friends, music band, teachers, family, home, fields, mountains, grandmother, streets, language, dog – all left behind, becoming smaller, and disappearing as I trudged with a heavy suitcase. My face wasContinue reading “my home hurts”