love

Grandfather, open

This is a poem dedicated to my grandfather, who passed before I was born. May the darkness become the light and in your stillness, may you dance. I’ve carried your dreams in me, a pocket full of seeds.For a long time, I was hungry, but this hunger belonged to you. It was you I wasContinue reading “Grandfather, open”

I want to be alive with you

Within this pain, you’ll find the seed of its healing. If you’re ever lost as to what meaning your meagre life holds, look into the darkness of your days. Look into the eyes of the addictions, the perpetual disempowerment of self. There, you’ll find your gift. The core of your shadow will reveal the lightContinue reading “I want to be alive with you”

I take my grief to the river

In the light of love, there’s grief I take my grief and sit with itAnd in the light of grief, there’s grace I soften in all that is outside myself: storms of loss, patterns of sadness, a world sick and begging for help And in the light of us, there’s day trips that never happenedpoemsContinue reading “I take my grief to the river”

to live in a body of pain

I don’t fit well in my body, some daysmy body does not contain me, in ways it feels as if my body’s not minelacking in joy and what’s divine Like womb rejecting a coiled foetus, my skin rejects my belonging so I fill myself up beyond fullness, with longing testing the boundaries of expansion I want to love and learnContinue reading “to live in a body of pain”

Wintering tides

Tide one on idleness A white page and the mind rushing in with words, thought, constructing a poem of the rational. It makes me sick reading it back – so stale and monotonous like two lovers that have forgotten how to love, that have nothing between them but the inability to get out. When IContinue reading “Wintering tides”

upward path downward flow

on my first day I go down to the riverask her to receive me. I am an unexpected arrival. God welcomes me in his miraculous ways: your upward path, my downward floware fixed by law divine. my task is to refresh your soulyours to discover mine.* a life of searchingfor god’s soul. on tree branches,Continue reading “upward path downward flow”

moon mad

moon ismy anchor into safety,womb darkness, moon inside belly soft and round. moons for eyes, a beating moon heartbloodied but throbbing with power. i love you and i love the world broken as it is. and i am hurting, deep, to the bone, grief calcified, moon becoming bone bearing griefmy backbone of nourishmentifollow you inContinue reading “moon mad”

Romanian Diaries: home within

Part II Today, I arrive at my grandparents’ meagre home in a small village. I see my ninety year old grandfather after a decade. My eyes crack open with tears of joy as his palms feel my face, my cheeks, perhaps he is checking whether I am real. Am I really here? He is oldContinue reading “Romanian Diaries: home within”

Him

Morning. Hot tears singe. How many times have I been told to stop crying? It’s not good for the soul, they’d hiss. Fools. Now I want to drown them in these tears. Blazing lava, abundant. Nevermind. I’m lost in your love yet I find neither you nor me. I wonder – the shape of yourContinue reading “Him”