paraschiva florescu

before, i was dying

A chapter from my story towards healing I felt alive only when my blood would seep through with adrenaline: the numbing excitement, the buzzing of sensation through my body. It would be familiar yet always new, different – what will it bring this time? I constructed my life like an addict, ensuring that my nextContinue reading “before, i was dying”

made to please

he tells her that her body is too heavy to hold and her hunger insatiable. her craving reminds him of a starved animal perhaps his past loving was lighter; to love her is to love a whole world. he is unaccustomed to this darkness his tongue can taste miracles inside her deep collarbone but heContinue reading “made to please”

Body remembers

Start gentle with holding, with loving those parts that others broke open. Your cells are folding around the memory, but help them forget. Talk to your body in whispering sound: it’s over now, I hold you into safety. It’s over now and your spiral life is unraveling each day, each day closer to the homecoming. Continue reading “Body remembers”

Last to let go

I let my body paint the story. My hands trace our beginning within space, my hips circle into spirals dancing our story that never ends. Our story that never ends but takes different shapes each year. This year shaped into absence, the space that remained, missing; From too much to a lack of feeling. FromContinue reading “Last to let go”

Bardo

Show me the broken parts. The ugly. The cracks of your being. Show me where is the mould, the dampness. Show me where you are rusty, untouched. Show me the faults you hide well from view, the ones you’ve been hiding for such a long time. Show me the shame you carry on your palms,Continue reading “Bardo”

Patterns of light

I open to receive this Blessing fully, like a lotus flower blooming in emergence out of the darkness. My mind doubts whether it can contain this love wholly, still holding on to a grain of suspicion as to whether such happiness is tangible. I sort through the doubt with great precision like Vasalitsa sorting poppyContinue reading “Patterns of light”

Pavel

You’ve named me, months before my birth. I was first a thought, before your thought metamorphosed into a seed, sprouting. You named me Pavel, a boy’s name that you practiced calling, a name your lips would form with pride and anticipation. Pavel. I came to you as a disappointment at first. You prayed so longContinue reading “Pavel”

I told you no

you make your way in like a ruthless predator opening up, pulling apart push and pull. I remember the waves, the sea with its flow infiltrate then withdraw. I pray for it, wish I was drowning. but the heaviness of your body I can’t ignore. Stiffness. You draw me in like an animal. Breathing inContinue reading “I told you no”

Cacao blessings

I have been blessed to start my favourite month of October attending a Cacao Ceremony in a secluded beautiful house in nature. I was seventeen years old when I attended my first Cacao Ceremony, an experience which initiated my search for meaning and for a deeper connection to myself, god, nature and spirituality. It’s beenContinue reading “Cacao blessings”

Darkness is your candle*

October ushers in a sense of new beginnings. It’s strange, as around us, death melts the leaves and trees, as all that is green rusts away. I have always been in love with the autumn, with the quiet ending that it brings to life. There is a sense of peace that comes with this finalityContinue reading “Darkness is your candle*”