recovery

For those that love too much – Part III*

*This is the third part of a story I began writing over a year ago to track my healing after a toxic relationship. Each part is what I felt at the time, what I thought and my progress in recovering from self-destructive patterns. Click here to read Part I and Part II. You are carryingContinue reading “For those that love too much – Part III*”

Lot’s wife

I am on the floor, by the fire. Spread out, being held by the hard floor underneath. The wood is crackling, popping. I feel my bones warming up, my feet are almost burning. I am seven years old. My father sits across – on his armchair. One night two men arrived at Lot’s door. InContinue reading “Lot’s wife”

Body remembers

Start gentle with holding, with loving those parts that others broke open. Your cells are folding around the memory, but help them forget. Talk to your body in whispering sound: it’s over now, I hold you into safety. It’s over now and your spiral life is unraveling each day, each day closer to the homecoming. Continue reading “Body remembers”

I told you no

you make your way in like a ruthless predator opening up, pulling apart push and pull. I remember the waves, the sea with its flow infiltrate then withdraw. I pray for it, wish I was drowning. but the heaviness of your body I can’t ignore. Stiffness. You draw me in like an animal. Breathing inContinue reading “I told you no”

For those that love too much

My story with narcissistic abuse Do you love yourself more than you love me? Beloved replied, I have died to myself and I live for you. I’ve disappeared from myself and my attributes, I am present only for you. I’ve forgotten all my learnings, but from knowing you I’ve become a scholar. I’ve lost allContinue reading “For those that love too much”