self belief

A light so heavy

We’re all wounded here. And who am I but another wounded one bearing a light so heavy. Who am I but an empty vessel offering to god’s feet. It’s deluded to call ourselves healers, as if our hands can mend brokenness. To think it is us alone that births a breathing soulthat heals a brokenContinue reading “A light so heavy”

earthed

I arrived, 26 years ago, folded and compressed, a gasp on my mother’s lips, curiosity on her cheeks, a tiny miracle held on my father’s chest. My birth was planned and calculated, sterile. Brought by morning’s light. I wanted to leave, early on, when hearing the loud turning of this world, the air heavy withContinue reading “earthed”

Bardo

Show me the broken parts. The ugly. The cracks of your being. Show me where is the mould, the dampness. Show me where you are rusty, untouched. Show me the faults you hide well from view, the ones you’ve been hiding for such a long time. Show me the shame you carry on your palms,Continue reading “Bardo”

Patterns of light

I open to receive this Blessing fully, like a lotus flower blooming in emergence out of the darkness. My mind doubts whether it can contain this love wholly, still holding on to a grain of suspicion as to whether such happiness is tangible. I sort through the doubt with great precision like Vasalitsa sorting poppyContinue reading “Patterns of light”

Pavel

You’ve named me, months before my birth. I was first a thought, before your thought metamorphosed into a seed, sprouting. You named me Pavel, a boy’s name that you practiced calling, a name your lips would form with pride and anticipation. Pavel. I came to you as a disappointment at first. You prayed so longContinue reading “Pavel”

Cacao blessings

I have been blessed to start my favourite month of October attending a Cacao Ceremony in a secluded beautiful house in nature. I was seventeen years old when I attended my first Cacao Ceremony, an experience which initiated my search for meaning and for a deeper connection to myself, god, nature and spirituality. It’s beenContinue reading “Cacao blessings”

Crescent

Tonight, a beginning clings to the edge of this crescent moon – hanging with grace like a precious jewel. Beginnings never arrive solitary – endings pave the way for a fresh arrival. I take myself back, for a brief moment, through the roads that carried grief within their curvatures, through the places that hold the memoryContinue reading “Crescent”

Pain as a necessary reminder

Welcome back, little girl, small palms carrying a world so heavy. I tried to tell you – your hair is meant to wrap around the earth’s roots and your eyes are an offering to the sea. You didn’t listen. You trusted in a world that’s so elusive where lust and love are tangled up likeContinue reading “Pain as a necessary reminder”

So I stayed

December 19, 2017 We live in a world whose values are diametrically opposite to goodness. I cannot turn for advice, for their mouths are foul with pride and their hearts sing of selfishness. I now know that what is good will never get approval from those who claim to hold your hand. True teachers are silencedContinue reading “So I stayed”